My son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, so this summer I’m sending him to a concentration camp.
Tag Archives: humor
Headlines
Cell Phone Virus Leaves Hundreds Dead, Thousands Missing
A phone virus infected cell phones throughout the country today, with devastating effect. The virus left many phones inoperable, and others with impaired functionality.
So far, hundreds have been found dead and many more are missing. One distraught husband reported, “She said she couldn’t live without her cell phone. I guess she was right.”
A wife whose husband was reported missing was quoted as saying, “He couldn’t find his way anywhere without his navigation app. The last I heard from him was a text saying he had just got on the Interstate. I’m betting he’s still on it, and the app hasn’t told him he’s reached his destination yet.” Police are keeping an eye out for motorists who have run out of gas or otherwise appear lost.
rainy day
I asked for mine dry
didn’t expect umbrella
in my martini
* * *
Thanks for reading. With the loss of Haiku Heights, I needed to get something out.
For a weekly haiku prompt, come visit Haiku Circus at:
Expectation
Twelve Days of Christmas
twelve drummers drumming
is more noise than I care for
give me sleep instead
* * *
eleven pipers
cannot fix the bad plumbing
toilet backing up
* * *
ten lords a leaping
nine like to watch the ladies
one is a time lord
* * *
nine ladies dancing
ignoring the lords as they’re
already royal
* * *
eight maids a milking
sorry I failed to mention
can’t abide dairy
* * *
seven swans a swimming
making a mess of my pool
who’s going to clean it
* * *
six geese a laying
I also forgot to say
that I’m a vegan
* * *
five golden rings
not sure what to do since I’ve
got one ring finger
* * *
four calling birds
who incessantly like to
use my cell phone
* * *
three french hens
I can’t understand a word
don’t speak my language
* * *
two turtle doves
I have to really wonder
what’s with all these birds
* * *
and a partridge in
a pear tree – forget the bird
but I do like fruit
* * *
For Haiku Heights
rivulet #2
steaming rivulets
devouring all in their path
volcano erupts
* * *
strange sound I hear
rivulet rivulet
frog with hiccups
* * *
For Haiku Heights
blood
more help for the poor
can’t squeeze blood from a turnip
must eat one instead
* * *
bartender
another pint here
vampire bar
* * *
For Haiku Heights
rummage
No fairy tale – response poem
This is a response poem to Susan Daniels’ most excellent and funny poem, “No fairy tale”. Read it here first at:
http://susandanielspoetry.com/2013/07/08/no-fairy-tale/
* * *
Oops – sorry! I tried to pick a rose for you, but
have you ever tried doing that wearing gauntlets?
And once inside, my visor fell, I tripped, and
with all this damn armor, well, it weighs a bloody ton.
Sorry about your door.
I’ll go fell a tree in a stroke and
make you a new one.
I’m sure that ancient rowan by your window
must be blocking your view…
Haiku Heights prompt (lunch)
let’s do lunch she says
ciao, flutters fingers goodbye
chow – my kind of lunch
* * *
For Haiku Heights